diff --git a/.github/workflows/bench-pr.yml b/.github/workflows/bench-pr.yml
index 539c9e45ef9..1e4c062f5a2 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/bench-pr.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/bench-pr.yml
@@ -57,6 +57,8 @@ jobs:
       - uses: actions/checkout@v6
         with:
           ref: ${{ github.event.pull_request.head.sha }}
+      - name: Setup benchmark environment
+        run: sudo bash scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
       - uses: ./.github/actions/setup-rust
         with:
           repo-token: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }}
diff --git a/.github/workflows/bench.yml b/.github/workflows/bench.yml
index 35c2c057cb8..852baa26cda 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/bench.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/bench.yml
@@ -54,6 +54,8 @@ jobs:
         with:
           sccache: s3
       - uses: actions/checkout@v6
+      - name: Setup benchmark environment
+        run: sudo bash scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
       - uses: ./.github/actions/setup-rust
         with:
           repo-token: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }}
diff --git a/.github/workflows/ci.yml b/.github/workflows/ci.yml
index 1d132b36119..7d17597f25d 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/ci.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/ci.yml
@@ -726,6 +726,8 @@ jobs:
         with:
           sccache: s3
       - uses: actions/checkout@v6
+      - name: Setup benchmark environment
+        run: sudo bash scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
       - uses: ./.github/actions/setup-rust
         with:
           repo-token: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }}
diff --git a/.github/workflows/sql-benchmarks.yml b/.github/workflows/sql-benchmarks.yml
index b5152e36148..bb8233ae56e 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/sql-benchmarks.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/sql-benchmarks.yml
@@ -118,6 +118,8 @@ jobs:
 
       - uses: actions/checkout@v6
         if: inputs.mode != 'pr'
+      - name: Setup benchmark environment
+        run: sudo bash scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
       - uses: ./.github/actions/setup-rust
         with:
           repo-token: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }}
diff --git a/scripts/setup-benchmark.sh b/scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
new file mode 100755
index 00000000000..d45dad2e7c5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/setup-benchmark.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+
+# SPDX-License-Identifier: Apache-2.0
+# SPDX-FileCopyrightText: Copyright the Vortex contributors
+
+set -Eeu -o pipefail -x
+
+if [ "$EUID" -ne 0 ]; then
+    echo "Environment setup script for benchmarks should run as root."
+    exit 0
+fi
+
+# Turn off frequency scaling
+for gov in /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu*/cpufreq/scaling_governor; do
+    echo performance > "$gov" 2>/dev/null || true
+done
+
+# Really discourage swapping to disk
+sysctl vm.swappiness=0
+
+# Disable ASLR - https://docs.kernel.org/admin-guide/sysctl/kernel.html#randomize-va-space
+sysctl kernel.randomize_va_space=0
+
+# Reduce kernel logging to minimum
+dmesg -n 1
+
+# Disable some unused services and features
+systemctl stop apparmor ModemManager
+systemctl disable apparmor ModemManager
+
+# mask prevents them from being started by other services
+systemctl mask ModemManager
+
+# For apparmor specifically, also teardown loaded profiles
+aa-teardown